102 The self-talk survival guide

You always pay attention to what you say to yourself. What say you about you? If your self-talk could use some help, this is your survival guide.

This week’s Inspire Me quote is from Søren Kierkegaard:

“Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts.” 

In this episode, Leary and Armin discuss self-talk and how it influences our beliefs about ourselves and others, our behaviors, and the results we see in our lives. They share some practical suggestions on how we can reshape destructive thinking into constructive thinking, and approach life’s challenges in healthy ways.

Quotes from the show:

  • “We believe what we tell ourselves.” —Leary
  • “Our brain is always working. Most of the time it’s wandering.” —Leary
  • “We form self-perceptions that become limiting beliefs.” —Leary
  • “And then they become limiting behaviors that create very limiting results.” —Armin
  • “Researchers have speculated that about 80% of our internal dialogue is negative.” —Leary
  • “Even if the interaction is positive from the other person, we might think it’s negative, if that’s what we’re looking for.” —Armin
  • “We unconsciously are looking [for] things that fit our perception. We don’t see the things that don’t fit our perception. When we see the things that fit the perception… it reinforces that view.” —Leary
  • “We often don’t give [ourselves] the time to re-think how we’ve re-wired our thinking.” —Leary
  • “We have the ability to change. We’re volitional. We can change our thought processes, but we need an outside perspective to help us with that.” —Leary
  • “We need other people to challenge our assumptions. We need to surround ourselves with good truth intake through what we read and by engaging with people who are healthier in their thinking than we might be.” —Leary
  • “Carol Dweck said, ‘Add “yet” to your negative self-talk.’ …If you say, ‘Ugh, I can’t do this,’ she says, ‘change that mindset by adding one simple word to the end: “yet.” ‘I can’t do this, yet.'” —Armin
  • “And here’s how I’m going to do it.” —Leary

This week’s Challenge Me:

When you experience a challenge that threatens to undo you, turn your thinking in an inquisitive direction. Ask yourself, “How can I make this happen?” Then list five ways you can tackle it.

So, what do you think? (Pun intended.) Share your thoughts and comments with us below.

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4 thoughts on “102 The self-talk survival guide

  1. Great episode for me for today. This ties in with my goals for 2016. I too was afraid to journal. Too much negative talk written down to be re-read at a later date. I found a new tool to journal for those who are either too afraid to start or who need help in reversing the thought pattern. Check out the “Five Minute Journal”. It literally takes 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the evening to complete. You document your day and what “You” are going to do to make it great. The questions are designed to change the way you think and look at situations.

    A nice addition to your comments today. I am going to add the follow-up question to change my brain’s way of thinking.

    • Great suggestion, Kelley! I just signed up to be alerted when their new app is complete. I’ll be purchasing the journal itself as well. I’m really excited to use it. Thanks for making us aware of it.

      • Armin,
        You are most welcome. I use both. I have been using their app for some time and am currently a BETA tester for the new app. I really like it especially when I am on the go and don’t have the hard copy with me.
        The hard copy was really useful when I went back to my review my year in preparation for setting my goals for this year. I was able to use it as a benchmark to see how well I achieved my previous year goals and what I needed to change for this year.

        Just writing things down is so amazing to me as I forget the daily details. It was such a positive influence to see that I had accomplished 9 out of 10 of my (impossible) goals in 2015. I had forgotten most of them until I re-read my journal. Enjoy.

        I adjusted my goals last night after listening to your podcast. I added one more to 2016 to be more loving of myself. I’ll keep you posted.

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