099 The wound you didn’t want can be the gift the world needs

Few of us make it through life without some kind of deep wound. Handled right, though, that wound can be the gift the world needs. Join us as we talk about turning wounds into scars of strength and healing.

This week’s Inspire Me quote is from Henri Nouwen:

“The great illusion of leadership is to think that man can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there.”

The world needs people who’ve been there and who have overcome to show the way. People who are not so focused on their wounds—and motivated by them—that they miss out on the value healed wounds can offer to others.

How do we turn our wounds into scars of healing and our stories of pain into great stories of triumph? By taking the steps to change our motivation. There’s a difference between being motivated by our wounds and being motivated by the healing from our wounds. The first leads to self-validation; the second prompts us to help others heal.

Healing a wound means:

• Acknowledging the wound exists. You can’t treat something you don’t believe needs treatment.
• Giving grace to the person who caused the wound. Hurt people hurt people.
• Forgiving the person who caused the wound. You’ll always have the scar; that can’t be changed.
• Helping others heal from similar wounds. The scar is a reminder of vulnerability, but also of resilience and healing—and can inspire others with its strength.

Quotes from the show:

• “Randy Komisar said, ‘Passion pulls you toward something you cannot resist. Drive pushes you toward something you feel compelled or obligated to do. If you know nothing about yourself, you can’t tell the difference.'” —Leary
• “The motivation from the wound is self-validation. But the motivation from the healing is to help others heal. We can choose to work from our wound or to work from the healing from our wound.” —Leary
• “[When] we get healing [of] our wound, then we are also able to provide that healing and comfort to others, as well.” —Leary
• “The scars [are] a reminder of the battle we were in.” —Leary
• “[Scars] are a sign of victory, not a sign of defeat.” —Armin
• “My past, the issues that I had, [I felt]… disqualified me and every aspect of my dreams, and it limited me. I had this encounter and I realized, no, these past issues that I had don’t define who I am, don’t define my future. It was a new kind of perspective to have.” —Armin
• “It was God literally saying, ‘All those things that you think made you unworthy or disqualified you are the exact things I’m going to use to bring you into this new life, I’m going to bring you into this new future and give you everything you thought you couldn’t have.’ That’s when, all of a sudden, it took my wounds and turned them into scars, and said, ‘No, these aren’t things that take me out of life, these are the things that give me life, these are the things that will give other people life, these are the things that will make you stand with people who are dealing with the same challenges and make them listen to you.'” —Armin
• “The wound that we didn’t want is the gift the world needs. That is, if we can transform [it] into that.” —Leary
• “This whole topic—about understanding our wounds and our story and all the rest—can really help us think through: What’s motivating us today? How do we want to change? How might that even effect the vocation that we’re called to, because of it?” —Leary

This week’s Challenge Me:

If you wrote the story of your life, what would be that recurring wound and how would the hero or heroine of your story overcome it?

Resources mentioned in or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:

• Episode 98, “The power of story.”