059 How to beat the need for approval

We all love the approval of others. Sometimes our craving for approval can lead us to silly things, however; like not following our gifting or purpose. Here’s how to beat the need for approval.

This week’s Inspire Me quote is from Mark Twain:

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”

We’re all are wired to impress others. It shows from our earliest ages, trying to impress our parents. As we get older, the ways we seek approval get more sophisticated and we start promoting an image of ourselves. It takes self-awareness to detect when we’re driven to seek approval.

Some of the symptoms of approval anxiety are:

• Deep disappointment (or anger) when you don’t get noticed or accolades for something you’ve done.
• Disproportionate attention paid to criticism.
• Feeling trapped that you’re doing things you’re not good at.
• Finding yourself trying to impress important people or longing to be in their inner circle.
• Avoiding giving permission for others to speak honestly about your life.

Some of the ways Leary and Armin discussed how to beat the need for approval:

1. Adopt a growth-mindset. A fixed mindset always requires affirmation to be validated.
2. Choose the right audience for your work. There’s a difference between validation and affirmation. Only God validates. He made you. That’s all the validation you need.
3. Practice hutzpah and humility. Hutzpah says, you have something to offer. Humility says, you have something to learn.
4. Evaluate your roundtable. Whose opinions are most important to you? Why?
5. Cultivate an affirmation support team. Reach out to people you trust to support, encourage, exhort and edify you. We’re wired to connect with others.

This week’s Challenge Me:

Choose one of the five suggestions above and set your mind to work on it this week.

Resources mentioned or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:

• How mindset affects your next great beginning, Reinventure Me episode 4 on mindset