056 The value of setbacks

Winning isn’t guaranteed. Failure is. The setbacks we experience have value for our next beginning, if we embrace them.

This week’s Inspire Me quote is from John Killinger:

“Failure is the greatest opportunity I have to know who I really am.”

Setbacks happen. It’s not how many times we get knocked down but how many times we get up. Here’s how to get the most from setbacks:

1. Remember that it’s temporary & normal. During times of setback, it feels personal. Time seems to stand still. But setback—contraction—is a normal part of life. Nature expands because of contraction.  Unless a seed dies, Jesus said, it cannot reproduce.
2. Remember that it’s preparatory to something greater. A wave is not fully spent on the shore. Much of it recedes to form the next wave. So it is true in your own life. What you learn from your present setback will make your next effort much greater. No experience needs to be wasted.
3. Focus on what you gained by the experience, rather than lost. Even though something was lost, there was also gain—likely significant gain. Focused on that gain. Gratitude is your best defense to having your loss overcome you.
4. Discover what the experience taught you about yourself. This is the essence of the Killinger quote. Ultimately our greatest gain from setback is our increased awareness of how we are made.
5. Process setback with a mentor and friend. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, ”A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.” Confiding is easier with friends who are truly advocates; not critics. Don’t seek out anyone you are trying to impress—or who is impressed by you.

This week’s Challenge Me:

If you are experiencing a setback, take inventory of what you gained from it. Write it down.

Resources mentioned or related to this podcast that may be helpful to you:

• Congratulations on your recent contraction,  Leary’s blog post on the nature of setbacks and times of contraction.